A little switch-up from the usual posting on The Likely Lady today. I haven’t really planned this post out, but I just feel a lot of thoughts & words spilling out.. and that’s usually the best time to write it all down (and try and make it sound coherent!)
It’s now July, and we’re more than mid-way through 2014. I’m about to graduate University, and I’m going through a lot of changes in my mindset and my environment. It’s the time to find a job, maybe find a nice boy & hopefully do some travelling in between. I feel like a very different person to the person who started writing this blog in 2009, cooped up in my teenage bedroom with grandiose plans, endless notebooks and Moleskine diaries filled with rants and dreams. I also feel that blogging is an entirely different ball-game to back in 2009, and I think this might be a big part of why I’m feeling a little lacklustre for this hobby of mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the things that have come to me as a result of my little space on the Internet. It’s brought me career opportunities, contacts and new friends, as well as wonderful unique experiences that I would never have been provided without it. However, I have lost a lot of the same passion that I once had. When I publish a post, I often feel that it’s become a task and a burden. I no longer – or very rarely – look at a piece I’ve written and feel proud and satisfied in it. I feel like my entire direction has disappeared, and I’m simply writing up posts that I am required to, as soon as I can face doing it.
This isn’t the way it should be, really. And I think something needs to change. I have vague fantasies of regular WIWT posts and more personal posts, where my words are allowed to run free, but I just need to get the ball rolling. I look at my fellow bloggers (mostly friends) and feel a touch of sadness that I haven’t got the same motivation as them to write up and edit fantastic posts. It does make me feel like a fraud sometimes.
I wish blogging could be like it once was for me, and I could just publish whatever I wanted at any time, but in order to use the blog in a professional capacity, it’s not always possible. I often feel like a volcano, ready to erupt with things I want to write about. But, they’re usually restricted to the odd frustrated tweet instead.
I hope those of you who’ve bothered to read this can understand where I’m coming from. I’m simply going to focus on getting a job and gaining new experiences, and hopefully the blogging will come back naturally in due course. Let me know if you’d like more personal posts from me, such as that from my anxiety and heartache struggle. I’d like to write them, but I’m worried this isn’t what anyone wants to read nowadays, what with beauty reviews and lookbooks taking precedence..